Who needs a $100 ping pong paddle???

I spent four years in a college dormitory with a ping-pong table down the hall. I spent much of it taking on challenges from other students where I'd use any available implement. It's all in fun - some people take the game too seriously. I’ve beaten people at table tennis using 

• ash trays, 

• clipboards, 

• books, 

• 3-foot wide rackets, 

• 1.5-inch wide rackets, 

• shoes, 

• rulers and yardsticks, 

• hair brushes, 

• pots & pans (including a 40-pound pot), 

• chess/checkerboard;

• calculators, 

• sunglasses (they broke), 

• computer disks, 

• dinner plates, 

• coffee mugs, 

• a stack of paper in a folder, 

• a magic eight ball, 

• a shovel, 

• a candy bar, 

• a 2 by 4 block of wood, 

• a hockey stick, 

• a tennis racket, 

• a bulletin board, 

• my hand, 

• a name card, 

• a stapler, 

• a tin can, 

• a Tylenol bottle, 

• a Kleenex box, 

• bubble wrap, 

• my checkbook, 

• my wallet, 

• a briefcase, 

• a mini tape recorder (while it taped - see below!)

• an ID card, 

• and finally, and most famously, an ice cube. (It took three ice cubes to complete the game because it kept melting. If I’d had gloves, the ice cubes would have lasted longer - remember this if you ever try this.) 

I once beat someone in front of an audience (in college) using a book as a racket, with a coffee mug full nearly to the top with hot chocolate in my free hand, a pet gerbil in my shirt pocket, and a book balanced on my head. If the book dropped (I wasn’t allowed to touch it), if I spilled any hot chocolate (I wasn’t allowed to drink it to lower its level), or if the gerbil lost contact with me at any time (he was well trained, fortunately), I lost the point. (I lost a rematch, under the same rules except I also had to stand on one foot.)   

I played and won against a reporter using his mini-tape recorder as a racket, with the tape running, and gave play by play throughout the points.

I’ve rallied using 

• a 3-year-old child with a sheet of sponge stuck on his forehand, 

• a beach ball, 

• a chair, 

• a guitar, 

• a laptop computer, 

• a blind person’s hand (he was holding a racket), 

• by blowing the ball (33 returns in a row one rally),

• my wristwatch (it broke),

• and a towel (I lost a challenge match to Alan Williams using one as a racket).

It is my life’s dream to beat someone with a frozen fish. 

-Larry Hodges

P.S. But it's all in good fun!

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